It started with more than a kiss.....

I arrived in Berlin in March 2011. It was supposed to be a fun summer with my new girlfriend and a fun internship at a renowned foreign policy think tank. Neither case turned out to be "fun". The relationship I had at the time melted away into the pointless and ultimately shallow affair it was, the internship was staffed full of ordinary, dull careerist drones (with a few exceptions). At the end of the summer of 2011 I felt genuinly lonely, empty and forlorn.

5 years have now passed, and I have experienced many unique, odd, sometimes hedonistic, sometimes scary moments in Berlin. I thought the time had come to write a few of my experiences down in vignette form.

I have changed quite a bit as a person in this hotbed of eccentricity and sexual experimentation. I have peered over the edge as many others have and still feel I have only briefly skimmed the surface of this quirky and unconventional city.

My first vignette will kick off from when it all began. My first fling, which set the tone for years to come for my life in Berlin.

The young redhead with porcelain skin 

My Brazilian girlfriend at the time was inflicting maximum emotional pain on me. I had never felt such intense heart pangs, stomach somersaults, and racing blood pressure.

I stood close to a lake in North Berlin; I had been invited to a wedding reception of a colleague of mine from the think tank. He was glad that I came. "Henry! So happy that you made it" said my friend "where is Katherine?". I knew that question was coming. Why should he not ask it? It was a wedding reception, and as far as the eye could see there were only couples in attendance - I was the only "single" person there at that moment. "Katherine is with her father in town" I replied, which was true. She had been all too happy to have a good excuse not to come with me. Her father was especially in Berlin to help her move her things to her new home in the South-West, where she was due to start her studies in a few months.

I lolled around on the beach with the warm sand on my toes and my gloomy reflecton looking back at me on the water whilst most guests enjoyed the wedding reception on this warm summer's evening for a few painful hours. With only the feeling of rejection permeating my mood I tried to make small-talk with another Brit. It was a laboured conversation, and all I felt was a deep sensation of being stranded and strong humiliation that my girlfriend had decided to show me up once again as a tried to make feeble excuses for her non-appearance. Then suddenly I felt my phone ringing "Henry, how are you?", it was Katherine. "Can you come down to Gendarmenmarkt? I'm here with my father and he'd like to meet you". I then sprung into action. I could finally leave.

So I left, I took a few trains and then finally made my way to Stadtmitte. I found my girlfriend and her slightly rotund father having a drink at Augustinerbräu. She liked all things Munich, so it came as no surprise that she choose to meet there.

I sat next to her and had a generally cordial talk with her father in broken, yet acceptable (when it comes to being understood) Portuguese. Then one small thing occured which in itself was not really so terrible, but given the pattern of our relationship and my girlfriend's tendency to make hurtful gestures I realized that it was meant as an intentional rebuke. She got up, and when we moved tables indoors she sat next to her father, and not next to me.

I got the message. And once her father had paid and they made their way home one question then went through my mind. "Its over with Katherine. What do I do now? Do I go home and feel sorry for myself or do I go out?". I decided to go out.

I headed to the chic and hip White Trash. I was dressed reasonably conservatively in a checkered black and white top. I did not look the typical Mitte hipster in the slightest. For most of the evening I had eyed a young attractive girl with red hair and fair, white skin. After numerous glances I took the plunge and asked her to dance - she did not demur. I quite quickly moved in to kiss her, she resisted for quite some time, paining me. No! I felt, I need this confirmation now - I don't feel good, and I need a kiss from a pretty girl more than anything. She finally gave me, and I could hear her panting deeply as we kissed.

Her friends then wanted to leave.. "I'm staying here with you though" said the girl. We then later departed and went for a walk in the summer morning twilight. On that evening though, she did not come to my apartment, so I escorted her to the station. Nevertheless the following day I received a phone call from her "can I come to your place, what is the address?". She was there is a few hours.

I still felt a bit dizzy and lost from all the events of the evening before. She smoked on my balcony, I talked. Little happened. Then she turned to me and said in a direct tone "I need to get something to drink, is there an open Späti nearby". I stated that the area was not so familiar to me, yet there must be something nearby. She quickly left and returned with a bottle of wine. It then quickly clicked in my mind - this young lady would like to have a sexual encounter with me.

She was very pretty. With long, undulating red hair, fair pale porcelain skin and small feline features. She was a good looking girl from West Berlin - the perfect fit for a fling to get over my emotionally terse and reserved girlfriend.

I got the message and decided to take her hand and take her to my room. Then came very wild, yet emotionally gratifying sex.

However, the reason I tell this story, is more for what happened next. The next morning I could hear my landlord entering the flat. I immediately panicked - I thought "busted!". The girl's handbag and cigarettes where lying on the kitchen table. I quickly ran over. My landlord opened up first "I didn't know you smoked Henry. Could I have one please?". I then quickly said that they weren't mine and I had a visitor. She then entered. "Oh" he quipped wryly "don't worry about it". The whole matter was fine with him; a hurried sexual affair whilst still officially being in a relationship did not matter to him.

I knew from that moment. Berlin was the right city for me - at that time and for a long time to come.